My
father was one of the most faithful men I know. He served a mission to England
in the 1950's. He was married to my mother in the Logan Temple. He was a bishop,
a Scoutmaster, a Gospel Doctrine teacher. He served a second mission with my
mother. When confined to a
wheelchair and suffering from Alzheimer's disease, he was found at 2 a.m.
crawling down the hall in the rest home on his knees and elbows. "I'm
afraid it's the end of the month; I have to do my home teaching," he said.
He was also one of the smartest people I know. He was an engineering
professor, an amazing car mechanic, a computer wizard, and the author of the
definitive college textbook in his field. When I was growing up, I heard him
say more than once that if he lived by the standards of the Church and obeyed
the commandments and heeded the prophets and then died and it was not true, he
would still choose to do the same thing because it was a great way to live. It
was the way to be happy.
I've similarly been highly active in church
service all my life. As people very close to me whom I consider intelligent left the Church, I've put
his words to the test, and he is always right: They never become happier than
those who remain in the Church. They never become happier than they were
themselves as members. They may feel a reduction in cognitive dissonance (internal stress) from
things they thought they knew versus things they find out, or from sins they
would like to commit versus commandments they don't want to obey. They may feel much
smarter than those who stay. They may enjoy some things about their new lifestyle, but
they are never supremely joyful like they were before (if they once had a testimony), they are never as joyful as others who remain and they usually become
more fearful about life and the future.
I could be wrong about what I believe just as my Dad thought he could have been wrong, but I think he was right because shortly after his death, I received a new calling to the Relief Society Presidency. As the bishopric placed their hands on my head, my father's hands were suddenly there, too--there was no doubt about it in my mind. Light and heat flowed down through my body and my heart just about exploded. He had the Priesthood here, he still had it there, and he wanted me to know he was proud that I was serving the Lord's church.
